The holidays have always been very
special to me. I remember decorating the
Christmas tree every year with my Dad.
Mom was always in the kitchen making hot chocolate for us for some
reason. We had music playing on the
record player and as soon as the tree was finished out would come all the
wrapped presents. Then the anticipation
started. Could this be? Maybe this is? No, this is too large for… I would shake the
packages and mash them and study their size and shape, but to no avail. My Mom was a master wrapper. I do not ever remember making a successful
guess. But I knew what was going to be
there because I had made a Christmas list.
I still make a Christmas list,
although most of the time it is what someone else wants now instead of what I
want. But I began to wonder if I made my
own Christmas list, would it really have changed that much?
I remember wanting a doll for
Christmas. Not just any doll, but a
Barbie doll. She was cute and smart and
had great looking clothes and beautiful hair.
I wanted her because I wanted to be just like her.
I still want to be just like her in
that I am not just any doll. What I want
is to be gracious, kind, and beautiful inside.
I want the knowledge I have earned in all these years and the wisdom to
know how to use it. Yes, I still want a
doll, but this time I want that doll to be me.
And instead of me being the owner, I want it to belong to God. I want to be His child. Nothing much has changed, but the reasons
have.
I also wanted a doll house so that I
could have a family and take care of them.
I no longer want just a house, I want a home. I had no idea at that point of what it took
to change that house into a home. I had
no idea of the love and patience that would be demanded. I had no idea of the laughter and tears that
went into building those memories called home.
But I’m glad I wanted it. I am
glad that as a little girl I was beginning to build that dream and that as a
big girl I never gave up.
I wanted a teddy bear. I still love teddy bears. The same little teddy bear that was on our
tree when I was that little girl, still adorns our Christmas tree to this day. I love it and in many ways, I would like to
be just like it. You see everyone loves
a teddy bear. They are never considered
old, they just get move valuable. And
best of all, they are frequently trusted to be someone’s very best friend. What a privilege.
I wanted a bicycle. Oh and it was to be a special bicycle. But I wanted it because it gave me wheels to
go places I had never been and see things I had never seen.
Now I need a car, because it will
give me wheels to go places I have never been and see things I have never
seen. Some things just never change.
Yes, in many ways, I am still the
same little girl. I became the young
woman my parents loved me into becoming.
I became the wife and mother that my experience and training taught me
was best. I am now a grandmother and I
have the privilege of becoming my mother.
My grandsons decorate the Christmas tree every year. The Christmas CD’s are playing and where am
I? Well, I am I the kitchen making hot
chocolate. Some things never change.
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