HELP ME LORD!

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strengths, they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 NIV

Monday, December 17, 2012

My Grown Up Christmas List



 
            The holidays have always been very special to me.  I remember decorating the Christmas tree every year with my Dad.  Mom was always in the kitchen making hot chocolate for us for some reason.  We had music playing on the record player and as soon as the tree was finished out would come all the wrapped presents.  Then the anticipation started.  Could this be?  Maybe this is?  No, this is too large for… I would shake the packages and mash them and study their size and shape, but to no avail.  My Mom was a master wrapper.  I do not ever remember making a successful guess.  But I knew what was going to be there because I had made a Christmas list. 
            I still make a Christmas list, although most of the time it is what someone else wants now instead of what I want.  But I began to wonder if I made my own Christmas list, would it really have changed that much? 
            I remember wanting a doll for Christmas.  Not just any doll, but a Barbie doll.  She was cute and smart and had great looking clothes and beautiful hair.  I wanted her because I wanted to be just like her. 
            I still want to be just like her in that I am not just any doll.  What I want is to be gracious, kind, and beautiful inside.  I want the knowledge I have earned in all these years and the wisdom to know how to use it.  Yes, I still want a doll, but this time I want that doll to be me.  And instead of me being the owner, I want it to belong to God.  I want to be His child.  Nothing much has changed, but the reasons have.
            I also wanted a doll house so that I could have a family and take care of them.  I no longer want just a house, I want a home.  I had no idea at that point of what it took to change that house into a home.  I had no idea of the love and patience that would be demanded.  I had no idea of the laughter and tears that went into building those memories called home.  But I’m glad I wanted it.  I am glad that as a little girl I was beginning to build that dream and that as a big girl I never gave up.
            I wanted a teddy bear.  I still love teddy bears.  The same little teddy bear that was on our tree when I was that little girl, still adorns our Christmas tree to this day.  I love it and in many ways, I would like to be just like it.  You see everyone loves a teddy bear.  They are never considered old, they just get move valuable.  And best of all, they are frequently trusted to be someone’s very best friend.  What a privilege. 
            I wanted a bicycle.  Oh and it was to be a special bicycle.  But I wanted it because it gave me wheels to go places I had never been and see things I had never seen. 
            Now I need a car, because it will give me wheels to go places I have never been and see things I have never seen.  Some things just never change.
            Yes, in many ways, I am still the same little girl.  I became the young woman my parents loved me into becoming.  I became the wife and mother that my experience and training taught me was best.  I am now a grandmother and I have the privilege of becoming my mother.  My grandsons decorate the Christmas tree every year.  The Christmas CD’s are playing and where am I?  Well, I am I the kitchen making hot chocolate.  Some things never change.